I’ve been receiving requests to post the Emotional Neglect Questionnaire on my website, so here it is! Keep in mind that this is not a scientifically established test. I made it up based upon my own experience working with scores of Emotionally Neglected people and have found it to be very useful. If you have questions or comments about this test, I invite you to post them in the comments at the end of this blog, and I will be happy to respond.
I hope you find the Emotional Neglect Questionnaire helpful!
Circle the questions to which your answer is YES.
Emotional Neglect Questionnaire
- Sometimes feel like you don’t belong when with your family or friends
- Pride yourself on not relying upon others
- Have difficulty asking for help
- Have friends or family who complain that you are aloof or distant
- Feel you have not met your potential in life
- Often just want to be left alone
- Secretly feel that you may be a fraud
- Tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations
- Often feel disappointed with, or angry at, yourself
- Judge yourself more harshly than you judge others
- Compare yourself to others and often find yourself sadly lacking
- Find it easier to love animals than people
- Often feel irritable or unhappy for no apparent reason
- Have trouble knowing what you’re feeling
- Have trouble identifying your strengths and weaknesses
- Sometimes feel like you’re on the outside looking in
- Believe you’re one of those people who could easily live as a hermit
- Have trouble calming yourself
- Feel there’s something holding you back from being present in the moment
- At times feel empty inside
- Secretly feel there’s something wrong with you
- Struggle with self-discipline
Look back over your circled (YES) answers. These answers give you a window into the areas in which you may have experienced Emotional Neglect as a child. If you’ve circled 6 or more, this indicates that your Childhood Emotional Neglect was extensive.